A Disturbing Satire

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Source; G.L.

BREAKING: Biden makes Monopoly money legal tender to pay for $6.8 trillion budget
March 13, 2023 Exavier Saskagoochie

In a shocking move, President Biden has announced that Monopoly money will now be considered legal tender in the United States, as a way to pay for his proposed $6.8 trillion budget. The decision was made after a lengthy discussion with his economic advisors, who argued that Monopoly money has the same value as the US dollar, since they are both backed by the full faith and credit of the US government.

In a press conference, Biden explained his reasoning, saying “Look folks, we have a lot of expenses to cover, and we can’t keep printing money like it’s going out of style. Monopoly money is just as good as the white people money, and it’s a lot more colorful and fun to look at. Plus, it’s time we recognize the contributions of Mr. Monopoly and his fellow board game characters to our economy. They’ve been generating wealth and teaching financial literacy for generations, and it’s time they get some respect.”

Critics of the move have expressed concerns that Monopoly money is not a legitimate form of currency, and that accepting it as payment would lead to inflation and economic instability. Some have also pointed out that it’s unclear how the value of Monopoly money would be determined, since there is no exchange rate with other currencies.

However, supporters of the decision have argued that Monopoly money is a symbol of the American dream, and that accepting it as legal tender would promote creativity and innovation in the economy. They also point out that it would be a way to address income inequality, since everyone would have equal access to Monopoly money regardless of their financial status.

In response to the controversy, Hasbro, the company that produces the Monopoly game, has released a statement saying that they are honored that their product is being recognized as a legitimate form of currency, and that they are ready to meet the demand for Monopoly money. They have also hinted at the possibility of releasing special editions of the game featuring higher denominations of Monopoly money, to help meet the needs of the new economy.

Only time will tell if this decision will prove to be a stroke of genius or a complete disaster. But for now, it seems that Monopoly money is here to stay as a major player in the US economy.

Hasbro stock ticked up $.04 on the announcement.