Oh boy, this is CLASSIC. I think I wet myself.

THINGS ANGRY WHITE DUDE WOULD DO I promise you AWD will NEVER, EVER, EVER vote for Jeb Bush! There are millions of me out there who will also sit out the next presidential election if Bush is on the Republican ticket! AWD invites everyone reading this to list what they would prefer to do rather than vote for Jeb Bush. America thirsts for statesmen and all we have are sorry politicians. So AWD was thinking of things I’d rather do than vote for Jeb Bush:

• Move to Detroit and begin my new rap career as MC Creepy Ass Cracka

• Have a long makeout session with Whoopi Goldberg with Kenny G playing on the stereo

• Chop off my wing wang and become Rosie O’Donnell’s lebanese lover

• Go shopping at the White Sale in Baltimore

• Invite Michael Moore to my house for dinner

• Attend a Alec Baldwin/Susan Sarandon/Sean Penn movie fest

• Turn in my guns and join the Brady Foundation

• Get a cat for a pet and name him Mr. Mittens

• Turn in all my cowboy boots and wear nothing but Birkenstock sandals with socks

• Pull for those comm-a-nist, blue-scumbelly Tarholes from UNC

• Sell my family members to be used for medical experiments in North Korea

• Accept Allah and start blowing the sh*t out of everything…including my favorite gun range