She's Right!

[JD Carpanzano]

I heard Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s statement the other day and was pretty shocked at first but then I started thinking about it, now here’s what she said.

"I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion [as a judge] than a white male who hasn't lived that life."

Take a moment and analyze her words, they actually make sense. White guys have been in charge of this country for over 200 years and look at the mess they left us with. What I mean is if we put more people of ethnic background in charge of things they are most familiar with then we would be much better off. For example, who knows how to handle money better than any one else in the world? Obvious answer, the Jews! Throw this Geithner fellow (white guy) out and put a Rosenbloom or Lichtman in charge. The economy would be straightened out in a jiffy, all projects would be paid for in cash and we would have money left over. We also can’t forget they own all the pawn shops and are expert in loans so let them run Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

But then I started to analyze the possibilities even further and not stop there. The biggest gangsters and con men in the world are of course the Italians. Put them in charge of the FBI. First we could stop their drug trafficking and gambling operations in the bud, plus they could recognize a potential crime in the making and stop it before it is perpetrated. Then I thought about the department of the Interior. Look at the disaster of an infrastructure we have. Everybody knows that when it comet to anything to do with the interior gay men have it all over the average white guy. I tell you what, if they had been in charge the Hoover dam sure would have looked a lot nicer than that big old ugly white wall we have to look at. When you are driving along and pass a housing development what do you see? There is always a whole bunch of Mexican fellows out there busting tail to get the job done. You never see 3 guys watching one guy dig as with white guys, so put them in charge of Housing and Urban Development. We also know that nearly every convenience store and motel is run by an Indian, from India. I say Sotomayor is still right, let them run the Department of Commerce. Can you imagine the deals they would cut with transportation costs? Speaking of transportation we all know most of the truck drivers and guys who work on the roads are black so stick a black guy in at the Department of Transportation, after all they live the life and obviously know better as Sotomayor says.

Now I know that the Southern Red Necks are mostly white men but we all know they are sort of a race of their own. The fact is though that they are all expert in firearms and moonshine, plus nearly every one of them uses that disgusting snuff stuff, so turn it to our advantage. It is obvious to me this is a group imminently qualified to handle the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. That brings me to the Japanese who are expert in making cars out of cardboard and plastic that get 60 miles to the gallon. The President should appoint one of those cute little gents to the position of Car Czar and fix up this GM, Chrysler mess.

Personally I’m covered, as crooked as I am I’m sure I’ll end up at the FBI, but we have one group left out. Last of all is the dumb ass white guy who got us into this mess in the first place. This devious, arrogant, no talent, greedy group of miscreants should be banished to the assembly line. There they would have only one simple little job to do and they wouldn’t have any power to screw anything up. They could spend 8 hours a day putting a bolt in a fender, 8 hours a day swilling beer watching mindless sit-coms and 8 hours sleeping off the beer buzz.

So there you have it! All problems solved, I love you Judge Sonia Sotomayor you are the only one who got it right.